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Noah Kahan't believe people are still going to the bathroom in their seats at his shows

Thursday, July 23, 2026 at 1:00 PM

Noah Kahan performs onstage on March 16, 2026 in Austin, Texas. (Robin Marchant/Getty Images for Netflix)

Many people have their own thoughts on what the government is and isn't for, but Noah Kahan is hoping Congress may be able to help him out with one specific issue.

It seems that people are continuing to relieve themselves during the "Stick Season" artist's concerts not in the proper facilities, but right there in their own seats. 

Back in June, after it was reported that someone had defecated in their seats during his show, Kahan posted, "If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom lmao." Now, a month later, a fan reported that someone used a section at Citi Field as their own personal toilet to urinate into during Kahan's show at the New York City stadium over the weekend.

During his show in Washington, D.C, on Wednesday, Kahan responded to the latest bodily waste incident as part of a bit in his song "Dial Drunk."

While pretending to speak on a payphone, Kahan took a call from "Congress," which informs him that "people have been pissing all over the floor at my shows, as well."

"You guys are ordering by act of Congress that everyone has to wear diapers before they get in? Is that what we've come to?" Kahan continued. 

He concluded, "Alright, you heard Congress, f****** put some diapers on next time, y'all."

For what it's worth, Kahan does seem to have some sway when it comes to matters of legislation. He supported a bill to put a cap on ticket resale prices in his home state of Vermont that passed in May, and is also behind a similar bill proposal in Massachusetts.

Kahan is currently on tour in support of his new album, The Great Divide.

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